A Series Of Unfortunate Events
by spaced
Summary: Jumper Crashes, Lantean beating, Body Swappers, Tongue tied scientists, Ancient Ruins, Masked Killers, Deadly Rabbits, Evil devices, Annoying Aliens, caged team-mates! Problem. after problem.. after problem The Stargate Atlantis Way! -Rated T just in case
1. Chapter 1

_Alright, the original character Kryssa is in my other Fanfic story. Yes... that one started out good, and ending in not good... If you want to know exactly what she is... go ahead and find her in there. But I think you can probably live without knowing! (actually I believe I deleted those...) And if you can't, or hate my stories... well, you can KISS my pearly white Cheeks! That or give some advice xD (still wondering whether or not I deleted those?)_

_MY STORIES : Now with 74 less Suckage!_

--------------------------------

**CHAPTER ONE : Not Getting Along?**

"Do you mind?" A lazy voice drawled out of a tall mans mouth as his fingers flicked the bottom of some rugged old shoes, that had been propped up against the console he was currently working with.

"No.." mumbled another voice cheerily, this one was much more feminine.

The males eyes rolled to the side, "Can you move your feet?" his voice wasn't incredibly patient sounding, not that it usually was. But something about this particular person, really seemed to erk one Dr. Rodney Mckay. Who had spent the last few weeks going over ship schematics with Atlantis's new Guest of honour. Who seemed to show no enthusiasm to the work at hand.

The girls ice blue eyes darted toward Rodney, the metal mechanisms around her temple catching the light, as they usually did. "Aren't we a bit grumpy today?" Her voice was high with entertainment, as she leaned backward, letting her legs slip from the sturdy console and onto the floor in front of her.

The blonde girl had been here almost two months, and had already found a list of ways to annoy their resident physicist.

"No, not Grumpy... just utterly annoyed!" Rodney's voice was sarcastic and cold, his eyes only glanced toward the rather luscious blonde sitting beside him once or twice. Today was just another day. Another day Rodney had to be trapped inside a small room, with the most annoying alien he had ever encountered on a mission. With few exceptions. "Would you stop that?" he finally snapped, turning 90 degrees and straightening his back, giving the pale girl a look that would cause any of the scientists under him to stir with fear. But the girl simply blinked innocently back at him. That same perky grin on her round cheeks as always.

"Rodney, you wanted my help. Weir specifically told me to come here and-"

"HELP," Mckay interrupted easily, something he found himself doing more often than not, "She sent you here to help, NOT... touch all of Rodneys things," his fingers swept forward, indicating the small device that blondey had noticed and was now holding.

"Last time I checked, this wasn't yours Rodney!" Her smile curled up into a smirk, as she set the object down against the table, extra carefully... just to bother the scientist.

"Last time I checked... you weren't part of my science crew or this expedition, So if you don't mind Kryssa... I'd like some privacy!" Mckay pointed toward the door. The man didn't move an inch, didn't answer another question... not until the girl's grin faded. With it, so did the sturdy hold he had on his arm, and it soon dropped, along with her cheeky smile.

"Fine," The blonde attempted a grin, but couldn't manage, instead she turned and left the room... leaving Rodney to his toys. And feeling as though he might have gone too far.

-----------------

Her fingers curled into a tight ball, swaying wildly back and forth at her sides. Arms stiff and her head held low, huffing in a childish manor. Mckay hadn't spoken like that to her before. Sure she got the usual annoying quips and angry glares, but that was a common thing for Kryssa to see. She was rather annoying... But today? She hadn't done anything to bother the Canadian! And was quite annoyed herself, by the fact that he had asked her to leave.

She moved slowly through the halls, biting lightly against her bottom lip and wondering if perhaps she had done something to tweak the mans cords. With a low sigh, she stopped moving, standing around a recently turned corner, and raising her glare from the floor, to the opposite side of the hall. With a mild nod, she decided it would be best to give the man his space, and going back to confront him was an awful idea.

_Unless..._

"Kryssa?" The blonde turned to see a familiar face John Sheppard was standing off to the side, "Are you feeling okay?"

Kryssa looked at the taller male oddly for a moment, as if the question was quite random. "Its just that your standing... in the middle of the hallway," he took a step forward, to look down the long stretch of corridor, seeing nothing at the end, "And staring at the... wall?"

Kryssa's blank look churned lightly, and now she was smiling. "Oh," a slight laugh escaped her lips, "No, no nothings wrong, I was just thinking."

"About?" Sheppard stepped forward, cocking his eyebrow and folding both his arms over his chest. The Colonel was going fairly casual today, and only had half of his uniform on.

"Rodney... he's being," she stopped, catching her tongue before continuing. Instead she thought of a much 'politer' word to describe it, "huffy..." her head did a sort of sideways nod. As if her brain had been battling its own thoughts.

"He's in one of his moods is he?" Sheppard grinned, dropping his hands to his side.

"Moods?"

Sheppard did the same sort of side ways nod, matching Kryssa's almost perfectly before looking back at the small blonde girl, "Yah. He gets... Moody," he grinned. It was a boyish smile Kryss had come to see often. "I guess it would be a bad time to ask him for some help..." Sheppard furrowed his brow.

One of the Colonels hands lifted, brushing up and through his thick black hair, he took to staring at the floor and had momentarily forgotten about the conversation.

"I could help!" Sheppard's eyes shot up toward Kryssa, he looked at her oddly and finally shook his head.

"Really, its more of a Rodney thing... scientific and all that," his smile took on an awkward appeal.

Kryssa, wasn't to pleased by this statement, her smile... once again, had faded. Although instead of a normal and distraught look, Kryss was glaring forward at her friend. "Fine," her voice was high, much higher than usual. And seemed eerily upbeat.

"Kryss?"

"Nope..." it was haunting, "Its okay, you don't think I can handle it, Understandable," Sheppard couldn't help but cringe.

"I didn't exactly say that I was just-"

"NO," her hands shot out in front of her, "No, Ill go get Rodney, He can help you!" Kryss turned away from him, and began heading back toward the Canadian Scientists lab. "What was it you needed fixed? A-" But she was stopped by a sudden had on her shoulder. The Colonel had grabbed it and was now turning her around.

"On second thought," he paused, talking slowly out of frustration, "I'd prefer your help to Mckays!" he nodded, sliding his hand down her shoulder and grabbing her small wrists. With a sudden tug, they were off, Kryssa letting the Colonel drag her off to whatever problem they had cooked up today.

-------------------

There was a low clicking noise, and nothing but it. Undisturbed, and unbroken. The sound filled the quiet room as Mckay's fingers spread across the keyboard to one of his laptops. It wasn't long before the clicking and sliding subsided. Mckay had found himself staring at the screen in front of him, unable to concentrate. He had been thinking, thinking hard. And was unable to come up with a solution for a minor problem they were having with the plumbing systems.

Straightening his body, he turned to the side, ready to ask Kryssa a long list of questions. He was too late to realize he had recently sent Kryss out of the lab, and began speaking to no one. Of course it took only a few seconds for him to realize that the blonde girls chair... was empty. "Kryssa," the man gave a look as if he hadn't remembered sending the girl away out of irritation. And with a quick snap of his fingers he remembered what had happened only moments earlier.

He sighed, shaking his head and spinning round in the chair until finally he was clear of his own table, and stood. With a muffled grunt the man began walking to the door, his hand momentarily raising to smack the black ear piece "Sheppard come in?"

There was a muffle of sound, a sudden jolt of static and then a respond, _"Um yeah?"_

Mckay stopped in his tracks, his eyebrow furrowing. The man hadn't even made it half way down the hall, "What are you doing?"

"_Mckay?" _there was a pause on Sheppards end, _"Just a second..." _more static.

"_Hello?" _A new voice appeared on the other end, a familiar voice

"Kryssa?" Mckay began moving again.

"_Yeee-aaah? Need-some-thing?" _Mckay could hear her grunt in-between words and picked up the pace a bit.

"What's going on? Where are you?"

"_There's no need to panic Rodney! Were fine... although this door wont be if it doesn't..." _the girls voice trailed off, and Mckay swore he heard a loud banging sound over the radio.

"If it doesn't what?" The scientist had stopped again, dropping both his arms in an irritated slouch.

"_Ha.. ha ha," _Kryssa paused, there was another bang, and a zapping sound, _"I came to help Sheppard fix his door! But...ouch"_

"But you can't?" Mckay grinned, once again starting to move down the hall.

"_No... No, I got it open," _he could hear the annoyance in her voice, _"But, it closed again. And now... we are kinda stuck in his room."_

"And why didn't you call for help?" Rodney asked, rolling his eyes and sighing heavily.

There was more shuffling on the other end, _"We didn't feel the need to trouble you!" _it was Sheppard.

"Oh please, it would take me a total of five minutes to fix your door!"

----------------------------------

Sheppard turned with a sigh, looking over toward Kryssa, who had gotten annoyed and took to smashing her hands against the bulky metal door. The ship was currently heading toward an empty area of space, where Atlantis's long range sensors had found a small, and almost dead signal of a battle worn Ancient ship. It was supposed to be a smooth sailing mission, some of Mckays men had already sent back ship schematics and the scientist had been studying them throughout the 3 hour trip with Kryssa.

Sheppard was left with nothing to do, and decided on a quick nap. But for some reason his door wouldn't open. Now here he was.

The Colonels eyes traced over Kryssa as she bashed her hands against the door one more time. He watched as her hand quickly snapped up toward her ear, yanking off the ear piece and throwing it at Sheppard, who fumbled with it in his hands for a few seconds before drawing it up to his own ear.

He couldn't help but smirk at Kryssa, who had suddenly taken to mumbling rude references about Mckay under her breath as she opened the control panel for the second time. "We didn't feel the need to trouble you!"

Kryssa lurched back her head to glare at the boyish smirk now playing across Johns face.

"_It would have taken me what? Five minutes to open you door... Hold on," _he could almost hear Rodney's nose lift into the air, _"I'm heading over!" _

"Mckay... You had me at _Sheppard come in_!" John stopped for a second, as another loud crashing sound came from Kryssa's direction, He gave her a rather annoyed look and turned away before she could threaten him with the corner of a lamp.

"Take your time..."

------------------------------------

Mckay's eyebrow cocked upward at the last statement. But the man didn't bother trying to figure out what Sheppard had meant. Instead he stopped moving so quickly, and started moving at his normal pace, having busted into a sort of frantic flailing walk at some point during the conversation.

Mere seconds had passed when Rodney turned the final corner, coming up to one of the crew quarters on the Orion. The man had been back and forth from here to the lab, who knows how many times. But somehow, he always seems to get slightly lost.

With a wave of his hand Mckay smacked the small earpiece once more, "Alright, alright I'm here noAAW-" The man flinched to the side, wrapping his arms around his chest and kicking off of the ground for a second. He looked like a twelve year old who had just seen a mouse skitter across the floor. Only it was a sudden loud banging on the other side of Sheppard's door that had scar... startled him.

"_Mckay?" _Sheppard sounded slightly shocked, although Rodney was sure her heard a muffled titter on the other side of the radio. _"Are you alright?"_

The physicists jaw clenched forward, "I'm fine... slipped! Now, what seems to be the problem?" The man bent forward, opening the control panel next to the door and scanning the scene. It was the basic, three crystal system. "Did you try moving the top crystal down and bridging the-"

"_Yes," _That familiar female voice appeared.

"Would you two," Mckay raised his hand and paused, closing his eyes tightly with annoyance before breathing in and continuing calmly, "stop switching the radio around."

"_Just get us out Rodney!"_

"Okay, well the bridging should have worked-"

"_It didn't..."_

"I know it didn't I was saying it should have but-"

"_Didn't..." _Kryssa's voice was oddly upbeat. Leaving Mckay to straighten in irritation.

"Look, do you want out of the room or not?"

"_I could stand to be in here a bit longer, I am with Sheppard!"_

Mckay's eyes bulged slightly, "Whats that supposed to mean?"

"_Nothing Rodney, Just... get us out,"_

"No not until you explain wh-"

"_MCKAY," _it was Johns voice on the radio now. How they switched back and forth so quickly amazed him.

"On it..." The Physcisist mumbled, hunching over once more to look at the control panel. "Perhaps if we bridge both sides at once?" There was a mummer of agreement on the other side as he reached out to lower the top crystal and held the other one steady, "On three? One... Two... Three..."

Nothing happened.

"_Wait... did you mean one two three Go.. or On Three, the number?"_

"I mean on Three, THREE the number!" Rodney straightened, looking to the roof as if it was the one to make such a stupid mistake, he gave an exasperated sigh, and bent over to try again. "On three... One, two, three!" It took only a second for the crystals to glow and with a proud smirk he watched as the door slid open.

Kryssa holding the crystals and looking rather pleased, while Sheppard stood back a ways, letting her work. There were a few damaged or bent objects littering the floor, and the two stared back at Mckay, trying not to smile.

"What have you two been doing?"

Kryssa straightened her back, arching herself to smirk back at Sheppard before walking forward, brushing past the stunned scientist who's mouth was now open... and dry.

John chuckled and left behind her, giving Rodney a pat on the shoulder.

Mckay stood there a moment longer, raising his finger, turning to follow suit, "What aren't you telling me?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**TBC: **_yes yes..._

_Alright! I went on an adventure to seek out my deleted story. And YES. It is gone! So... Here is the brief tiddle dee on Miss Kryss. (I know it sounds far fetched, But I had a whole list of things about who she was) - She calls herself the "drainer" she has bits of metal sticking out of her skin, around her eyes. In her head there is a supper computer, made by the ancients for the ancients. She is basically a walking techno-machine that was created to store information. She is human. And resents the ancients. Some of her bones have metal encasing them (yes like wolverine) which makes her a high conductor for electricity._

_Near the jaw line on her neck, there is an accessible data port. You can see what that's for later. She is not a robot, just a walking Ancient database - a computer. She can reboot, delete information, download information, shut down... and numerous other things the team hasn't discovered yet. _

_-thats most of it. Understood? If you have any other questions, ask. its not like I eat people... for dinner, with a side of shrimp cocktail in hot sauce._


	2. Enemies?

_Congrats, you made it to chapter TWO. Wonderful for you isn't it? yes..._

_Thank you to the one person who submitted a reply xD -I love you _

_Oh dear... things don't seem to be looking up for our little friends do they?_

**CHAPTER TWO: Enemies?**

"I still think there is something you aren't telling me!" Rodney quickened his pace a bit, Kryssa and Sheppard chuckled together not far in front of the scientist.

"Rodney why don't you stop worrying about that, and start worrying about why I couldn't get my door open!" Sheppard rolled his eyes, not turning back to look at the man.

"It was probably just a minor malfunction... something caused by-" he stopped, shaking his head as he made his way up to stand next to Kryssa, "Is there something your not telling me? Because I'm personally an open minded person, I can definitely take whatever it is you-"

"Rodney," Kryssa's eyes grew stern as she looked at the man, "What is the big deal?" her thin eyebrow raised, and before Mckay could answer a voice transmitted over the ships intercom.

"_Colonel Sheppard, we have arrived at our destination, and the crew already aboard the Ancient ship gives us clearance to beam you aboard."_

Sheppard stopped in his tracts, giving a curt nod to whomever was looking, "Alright, where's Teyla and Ronan?"

"_Readings say the Mess Hall!"_

"Alright, Beam me Mckay and Kryssa aboard, then notify the others and send them over when their ready!"

"What?" Mckay cut in, he gave a disgusted sort of look to Kryssa before continuing, "Why is she coming?"

Sheppard cocked his eyebrow, folding one arm over the other as he waited to be beamed aboard the Ancient ship, "She is our foremost expert on Ancient technology, we need her." He was trying to whisper, but couldn't help raising his voice a little. Giving a quick glance in Kryssa's direction, proved she was already distracted by something shiny, not far away.

"No, no, no. I am the foremost expert on Ancient technology... she is a stranger, who claims to have an ancient database inside her head!"

"Hasn't she been helping you for the past three weeks Rodney? Besides Keller checked her out... she has a computer in her head."

"Not really no... she has just been telling me how wrong I am every ten minutes. Besides, what does 'having a computer in her head' tell you, she could be a Replicator spy for all we know!"

"She's not a Replicator Mckay she's flesh and blood just like you or me," Sheppard took a step forward, raising his finger to point at the man opposite him, He had no idea why he was defending the girl. Nobody really trusted her in Atlantis, and Sam told them to keep a close eye on her. But somewhere along the line, John found himself enjoying her company.

"Actually I am!" A feminine voice caused both Sheppard and Mckay to break apart, the both of them looked around to see that Kryssa was now grinning at them. Although it was more of a devious looking smirk than a smile. "Sorry..." she shrugged, after a short pause. The cheeky grin still plastered over her face, "I have good hearing!"

And suddenly, in a whirl of blinding light, the room shifted beneath them, and they were on board an unfamiliar ship, standing not to far away from a large window. The sight was rather beautiful, if you took the time to enjoy it. The Orion seemed to be floating not far above them, silently while stars flickered around it. Each one fading in and out continuously.

"What?" Sheppard's eyebrows furrowed forward, as he took a step toward the small blonde. Unfazed by the recent transportation. She was harmless looking, seeming as though she had the strength of a plastic spoon compared to everyone else. Even Mckay looked as though he could take the girl.

"I have good hearing?"

"Before that!" Mckay was growing impatient, had he been right? Was she a spy... and now they were all about to meet some horrible demise at her hands. He knew he shouldn't have trusted her, he knew she looked innocent and adorable for a reason. It was all just to gain their trust...

Kryss turned slightly, giving Rodney an odd sort of glance, as if what he was thinking played out across his face. "How do you think they were able to get the little microscopic bits of technology in my head? Allot of the machine has Replicator bits in it..."

"So your part Replicator? This is insane, your probably going to turn on us any minute, the Replicator coding wouldn't allow for you to have a separate mind from the others..."

"This is why I didn't mention it..." Kryss sighed, rolling her eyes as if it wasn't that big a deal, "The Ancients may have designed the technology, and gathered most of the information to put in it, but other people had a hand as well... its the first combined works of Azguard, Knox, Ancient and Furling technology."

Suddenly, the fear in Rodney's eyes dissipated, and was replaced by a twinkle of something else. Kryssa backed up slightly, obviously noticing that suddenly the annoyance and irritation that Mckay was always feeling toward her, was now turning into a lustful need to study her and find out more. "When were you going to tell us this?"

"Azguard? Knox?... Furlings what?" Sheppard on the other hand, was thoroughly confused.

Mckay now turned on the Colonel, "Are you kidding me, don't you read any of the SGC reports? They are the four races! The four most advanced races known to us, they have technology like you'd never imagine and to work together for one specific goal-"

"Yeah," Sheppard mumbled, "I'll read about them later, Why you?"

Mckay had stopped now, looking at Kryss with a matching questionable expression, obviously wanting to know the answer as well as the Colonel.

"Me? because..." the blonde looked away a moment, deciding whether or not she had already told them too much, "Because I am part of the fifth race!" She grinned, satisfied with her answer she turned to walk away. Leaving Sheppard and Mckay to stand there, bewildered and intrigued.

------------------------------------------------------------

"Everything seems to be operational..." Mckay mumbled to Teyla, who had only recently arrived with Ronan, and had already questioned the ships capability. He had taken to glancing back and forth from his consol to Kryssa. And apparently the blonde noticed, because she had left to run an "errand" not long ago. It was odd that Mckay wasn't bitching or whining about her not being in a cell. Perhaps she used some weird voodoo Knox trick on him?

With a sigh, Rodney raised his hands to his head, caressing either side of it with the tips of his over worked fingers. He was tired, and felt he should have gotten some rest before he was beamed aboard.

"Are you feeling alright?" Teyla spoke quietly, raising her own hand to press gently against Rodney's shoulder. Ever since they left Atlantis Mckay had been working.

"Mmm what? yes..." He shooed her hands away, "I'm fine, just tired..." for a second he paused, then with hopeful eyes he dropped his hands on his lap and looked to his team-mate, "Could use a sandwich."

Teyla grinned stepping back and giving a curt nod to the physicist, "I was about to head back to the ship anyway... The other scientists have requested more supplies. Shall I pick you up one of the Turky Sandwiches?"

"Thanks!" Mckay perked up a bit, one of his favourites was Turkey. As long as there wasn't any Lemon involved.

"Oh if your making a run, Mind grabbing me an egg salad?"

And there it was, all of Rodney's recent energy escaped him as Kryssa, whom now that he took the time to stare, looked remarkably like Samantha, entered the room. As if on cue, with that same cheeky grin she always bared.

Teyla's smile faltered slightly, she looked from Rodney to Kryssa. The difference between the two was incredibly noticeable, Mckay had given a disgusted look, once again irritated by the blonde, and Kryssa... was always smiling. "Yes.." Teyla finally said, realizing that their alien friend was still staring at her, "I shall grab both and return shortly with the extra supplies!"

"Extra supplies? Well if you'd like some assistance I can join you!"

"Thank you for the offer, but I already have a few people coming back with me,"

"Are you sure? Its really no trouble, let me just find my gun..." her eyes scanned the floor, "I left that stunner somewhere..." she mumbled.

"No that's quite alright. I will not be long,"

"But-"

"Please..." Teyla raised her hand, "I will be fine," and with that. A beam of light encased her body, and the Athosian women disappeared from the room. Leaving Rodney, Kryss and a few other scientists that neither of them bothered getting to know.

----------------------------------------

Ronan tossed a rag toward Sheppard, who had been bent over on the floor. Apparently his last manoeuvre was a bit too drastic for their combat training, but John did say not to hold back. With a grin the large man stuck his hand out, offering his commanding officer a little help. Sheppard took it willingly, and winced as Ronan yanked him to his feet.

"Sorry about that..." The Satedan tried not to laugh.

"Its okay," Sheppard winced again, "I should have seen it coming!"

"Maybe you aught to see the doc about that?" Ronan indicated to the small trickle of blood, that was now running down Sheppard's hand.

The Colonel looked at the dark liquid for a moment, "Maybe your right..."he nodded once before turning around, limping off in the direction of the door.

"Sorry...again" Ronan mumbled, following behind John and flinging a dirty towel over his shoulder.

Sheppard looked at the man through the corner of his eye, nodding again with a half assed smile, "I'll be fine... just a little tender."

It wasn't long before Sheppard regained the feeling in his left leg. He was no longer limping as him and his cave man companion entered what little sickbay they had. Off to the side stood Doctor Keller, she was currently looking over one of Mckay's minions shoulders. They seemed to be fiddling with a computer hook up, trying to get the communications system to work in case of an emergency.

"Whats up Doc?" Sheppard gave her a boyish smile as he sat on one of the few laid out cots.

Keller turned to look at him and Ronan, then with a roll of her eyes whispered something into the scientists ear and walked over to the Colonel. "Another sparring 'Accident'?"

"Who uses air quotes anymore?" Sheppard joked, raising his right arm, "And..." he did that all to familiar side ways nod, "yes!"

Keller shook her head, reaching out one hand to roll up Sheppard's sleeve, the gash wasn't too deep, but deep enough to sting. "You two should be a bit more careful," her fingers pressed tightly around the wound as she cleaned it, ignoring Johns random Errs and Ahhs, "I'd really like to see the both of you less, how are you supposed to defend yourselves if you injure each other in combat training?" Her head shook again, she hadn't look up once, just kept working, wrapping the gauze tightly around the Colonels arm.

"There..."

She drew back, slapping her thighs with both hands.

"Thanks doc, much better... and we'll really try to be more careful!" But the conversation was cut short. When a sound came over the ships intercom. The familiar voice of one Dr. Meredith Mckay, and he didn't sound to pleased/

"_Uhh Sheppard?"_

"Yeah Mckay?"

"_We have a problem..."_

"Thats never something I want to hear on an ancient ship Rodney!"

"_Oh don't go blaming me for this, I'm perfectly capable of not causing problems on a ship... Someone didn't check all the systems properly and now..." _He could hear Mckay sigh on the other end, _"No stop it, what are you an idiot?... Move over let me do it..."_

**BWEEP BWEEP BWEEP**

The ships alarm systems Fluttered on, and by fluttered, I mean loud and obnoxiously. It wasn't even a normal sounding alarm, more like a dieing crane being beaten with a bicycle horn. Sheppard lurched forward, him and Ronan along with doctor Keller, began sprinting down the small corridor, heading toward Rodney and the rest of the scientists. They had been cautiously avoiding him since their arrival, but apparently it was and idea too good to be true!

"_Ohhh crap..."_

"Mckay what's going on down there?"

"_Um, well the ship thinks we are intruders... and because it doesn't detect any original crew members or Ancients on board, its determined that we are all enemies, and now..."_

"_Its trying to kill us!" _Kryssa cut in _"Hey you with the glasses... yeah, what are you, Two? Don't play with that, we are having a crisis over here, ugh Take this."_

"Kryssa?" Sheppard barked, feeling completely out of the loop angered him, "Will somebody tell me what's going on?"

"_The ship..." _It was Rodney again, _"Its locking us out of systems, I'm trying to stop it but its taken control over weapons and life support. I can only slow it down, we have to evacuate now!"_

Sheppard, Keller and Ronan turned the last corner, waving their hands over the door's panel, it opened in a second and revealed frantic scientists running back and forth from console to computer. One of them ran by the three, eager to be one of the first to escape. "Whats it doing?"

Rodney turned, he looked incredibly flustered. For a second he didn't say anything just ran back to another console. After swiping his hands across a few of the keys he stopped and turned around, a look of utter fear etched across his face, "Its opening fire on all the escape pods, and the Orion!"

"Thats not all!" Kryssa's voice could be heard, muffled by the rest of the noise. It took a second for them to realize she had her back turned to them, and was currently fighting with a computer of her own. "Its trying to vent the air out of itself..."

"How much time do we have?" Ronan simply stood there, not much emotion showing on his rugged features.

Mckay rolled his eyes, they frantically searched the room as he calculated the numbers in his head. "Fifteen minutes..."

"Ten!" Kryss corrected, her eyes never leaving the screen.

"Ten minutes!"

"Is that enough time?" One of the scientists squealed. The small round man was easily mistakable as a small dog. A pug perhaps, or a poodle, the way his hair sprang out at all sides of his head would have been a rather humorous sight under the right circumstances.

"Its going to have to be..." Sheppard mumbled. He was about to take a step forward into the room, ready to take charge and start herding all the men and women out of the room. Sadly before he was even able to get his foot down, The floor shook beneath him. He felt himself unable to control his balance, and began teetering to the side. Luckily Ronan was there, and pushed him back into a sturdy position before anything painful could happen.

Keller, had also lost her balance, and slid to the side, clutching her slender fingers around the door frame in hopes it would keep her from falling over.

Mckay turned quickly, looking up at the large window like screen behind him The Orion was beginning to fire on the Ancient ship, warning shots. The communications between the two vessels had been knocked out, and the Orion was about to turn tale and run.

"Better make that Five minutes..." Kryssa cringed at her consol, one of her legs had buckled beneath her.

"MCKAY!" Sheppard shouted, "Lets get out of here..." His hand swooped forward, and in the one movement both Keller and Ronan began herding the scientists out of the room. Leading the stunned men and women to the jumper bay, while Mckay began gathering up their equipment. "There is no time for that!" Sheppard barked, watching the man with very little patience.

"What.. we can't just leave it all behind, this stuff costs money you know! Lots of money, precious money, and its not going to be on my head when Sam or the SGC finds out it was all destroyed because-" he stopped, having been lurched out of his rant by the Colonel.

"Rodney, you can't save the equipment, take what you already have and lets go!" His fingers clenched, wrapping themselves around the fabric of Mckays shirt, he gave one hard tug and the scientist was dragged with it. Dropping a few of his gathered tools as it happened.

"But..."

"We're leaving... That means you too!" His other hand latched itself around Kryssa's shoulder.

"Wait, wait, wait," she frantically pressed buttons, her eyes never leaving the screen, "wa-IT-" Sheppard pulled on her, yanking her away from the machine. She was able to reach forward, pressing one more button before she too was being dragged from the room.

"What is wrong with the both of you? Do you really want to get blown up?"

"Do you really want to have the air sucked out of your lungs, while your trying to save yourself from being blown up by your own people? I don't know about you... But I like my oxygen!" Kryss retorted, it was something John hadn't expected. "Thats right," she grinned at his vacant expression, "I was bringing up a firewall to prevent the ship from venting any oxygen... we have exactly," she grabbed Mckay's arm, taking a long look at his watch before releasing it and looking back at Sheppard, " 1 minute and 38 seconds."

"And how far away from the jumper bay are we?"

"If we run? About 2..."

John mumbled a few curses under his breath, and released Rodney and Kryssa. He started running as fast as he could, pushing the two in front of him as he did so. He wouldn't leave them behind, and planned on getting out before the oxygen did.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**TBC:**

_wow wow wee wa wa... Wasn't that fantastical? Rate me, Love me.. send me messages that I ADORE! And More chapters will come!_

"_Whats this? Whats this? There is magic everywhere, Whats this? There is white things in the air! Whats this? I can't believe my eyes..."_

"_I think She's loosing it..."_

"_Perhaps she is just Oxygen deprived?" _

_Aha... aha ha ha... Aren't I witty?_


	3. When Things Go Wrong

_What's this? (Don't worry.. I'm not breaking out into song again) Another chapter? Well burst my bubble and call me Ted! How exciting is that? _

_I am enjoying myself... how bout you? _

_Let me know! With the magical art of Reading and REPLYING._

**CHAPTER THREE: When things go wrong...**

"Faster Mckay.." Sheppard reached forward, giving the man another quick push. The Physicist almost toppled over, what with the random bits of equipment in his hand, and the impending doom looming over his head.

"I'm running as fast as I can... its a little hard to breath,"

"Crap, that's probably the ship!" Kryssa flailed her arm forward, latching it around Mckay's wrist for the second time, "No," she shook her head, looking away from the watch and rolling her eyes, "Thats just you, sucking at Cardio..."

"How much time do we have left," John was afraid to ask.

"Not long..."

"Can I get a number?"

"I can't be sure... It won't be a completely accurate number.."

"Just ball park it,"

"But that's useless, what's the point in giving you a fake number if-"

"Anything!"

Kryss scoffed, shaking her head and panting as they turned yet another sharp corner, How far away was the jumper bay anyways? "30... 5 seconds..."

"35? Thats not going to be enough time,"

"You wanted a number! Don't blame me, it could be lower or higher than that!"

"Ugh Move faster..." Sheppard reached forward, giving them both yet another rough push. He held his breath as Mckay's legs fumbled beneath him, and then released it once he regained his balance and ran a little faster. Limping now. The man could move when he wanted to.

Suddenly, there was a dry feeling in his throat, uncomfortable. He swallowed, and wet his lips with his tongue. It helped for a second, but the discomfort was growing worse by the second, his eyes were beginning to water, his vision of Kryssa and Mckay blurring. He could make out two large blobs, one still gutting it toward the jumper bay, and the other wobbling to the side. The figure began to fall. John stopped, bending down, his lungs were starting to tug at him in defiance. He tried to wrap his hand around the body, with what little concentration he had. His head was starting to hurt, his throat tightening, he was gasping now. The figure before him was wheezing in defiance.

He began to fall, he let his leg collapse. It was weak, he only needed a rest, just a few seconds. He tried to inhale, it felt as if he was swallowing jagged rocks. He tried to call for help, but nothing came, he was falling, he needed to take a minute, just one... just a rest.

And then he felt it, a strong hand gripping him around his armpit, raising him off the ground and helping him to walk forward. John struggled to look back, to make sure the figure was still there. Blinking repeatedly to sweep the water from his eyes. He couldn't see, his lungs were aching, his feet limp, he could hardly feel his fingers, the room spun around him. He tried to cough for air but his body wouldn't allow it, he struggled... Trying to maintain his balance until finally he couldn't take it. Sheppard fell, he could feel two hands gripped tightly around his wrists, yanking him along the floor.

A strong hand smacked his face, he gasped for a second, and felt another strong burning sensation, this one much more painful than before, but relieving. He gasped again, he could feel the air passing through his dry lips, filling his lungs and burning his throat. The pain was welcomed as he did it again, and again. His blurred vision was beginning to fade. Blinking helped, and now he could see. In front of him was Ronan, towering taller than every man and women in the small Jumper, the door closer behind him and gently he put down the fallen figure. Her blonde hair spread out across the grated flooring of the jumper, she wasn't moving, but John could see her chest beating in and out... slowly, But enough.

Mckay bent over her, checking her pulse and dropping his ear to her mouth, he whipped his mouth over his sleeve as if he too felt the discomfort of dry lips.

Sheppard rolled, taking another deep breath and swatting the prying hands of Doctor Keller away. There was sound in the background, but he could hardly make out what they were saying.

"Yes she's breathing," Mckay turned to Keller, who was holding Sheppards wrist, testing his heart rate.

"Barely," Ronan mumbled afterward, bending down to tap the blonde on the face. He did it three times before looking to Keller, "Completely unconscious..."

"To long without oxygen can cause serious brain damage!" Mckay's spoke in a panic, raising his hand to feel his own head.

"Your fine Rodney," Keller cocked her eyebrow before gently lowering the Colonels head on a hand made pillow made out of her own jacket. She stood afterward, walking toward the unconscious body of their resident alien (excluding Ronan) and bent down, shooing Mckay away from the body.

She lowered her head, allowing her ear to brush the girls plump lips, listening for any sign of her breathing. Of course, Rodney was correct, she was breathing... faintly. She grabbed Kryssa's wrist, testing her heart rate. It was difficult to find a pulse, and when she thought she had the right spot, it turned out that her heart beat was rather erratic and confusing, not like a normal persons. "I can't be sure how she is... Not without the proper supplies. Otherwise, there isn't much I can do other than keep her comfortable," Keller looked at the crowded puddle jumper. The crew consisted of Her, Mckay, Ronan, half conscious Sheppard, unconscious Kryssa, and two scientists with the ancient gene.

Random equipment that had been scavenged was spread out along the floor, and the seats. They had only just left the Ancient ship, it appeared that the Orion had already vacated the system, they sent a message to one of the other jumpers which was relayed throughout the rest. Everyone was to head back to Atlantis. As soon as they got a safe distance away from the attack vessel that was now turning on them.

The ship shuddered and lurched, one of the scientist took the second empty pilots seat, turning almost directly afterward and stressfully clenching his teeth, "Shields are down by 50"

"What?" Mckay stood, walking into the front compartment and shoving his minion aside, a moment later he turned back, eyes wide and giving off a sort of 'deer caught in the headlights' look. "He's right!"

The ship lurched again, this one much rougher than before. Ronan toppled backward, hitting his head against the Jumper door, luckily his dread locks were quite cushiony, otherwise he would have suffered some sort of concussion. Rodney fell forward, and on top of the scientist who had taken the extra pilots seat in the front. They fumbled over one another for a minute until Mckay was once again standing, glancing awkwardly down at the man, his chin jutting out and his arms folded tightly over his chest. Keller slipped from her position and was now lying on her side, pushing herself up with one hand, and stopping Kryssa's body from sliding around the Jumper with the other. Sheppard, on the other hand, was free to slide wherever, and was now at the back of the ship, next to Kryss, groaning as he rubbed the pain out of his head.

The ship lurched back once more, "Shields are down... Get us out of here!" The man yelled, trying not to look at Rodney as he bashed his fingers against whatever keys he could reach.

"Hey.. HEY, this isn't a children's toy, you can't just smash the keys until it obeys you-" Rodney couldn't continue his rant, although I'm sure he must have tried.

The Puddle Jumper began descending, and soon enough they were being forced into the gravitational pull of a nearby planet. Sam had found it earlier, Mckay bugged that it would take them 30 minutes if they used the Stargate to get to the Ancient ship, but Carter deemed Orion transport safer. Psshhh Safer? Rodney was definitely going to enjoy bringing this up when they got back to Atlantis.

The Jumper lurched again, as the pilot tried to straighten out, he swerved back and forth, playing weeble wobbles with all the crew, only these weebles fell down... And they fell down hard.

The Jumper shook, cascading down, fire brimming at its edges as it passed through the layers of ozone that surrounded the planet. It was heading toward the ground much faster than it should have been, something was wrong. And if shields were down, this wasn't going to be a pretty landing.

"What are you doing?" Ronan shouted, trying to stand but failing in every attempt.

"The ships not responding to most of my controls, I can only get in one or two before it starts commanding itself. If I move fast enough I can get it to slow down a bit but-" the man grunted as the ship lurched again. Mckay couldn't help but think that if Sheppard was flying, the ride would be allot smoother. He would have to remember this fools name for later, he needed lessons on how to fly, but the name escaped him. Something to do with wood, Ebony? Oak? Mahogany? It didn't matter now. What mattered was landing this thing without killing anyone.

With another shift, the ship changed speed, it was beginning to slow, but that didn't mean the ground still didn't look menacing below them. The Jumper shook, twisting and turning under its commands as it fought against them, and against falling. The machine was confused, and was starting to fall apart because of it.

Then there it was, haunting, the tree tops grew closer and closer, the Nose of the Jumper raised slightly, trying to land, but moving to fast. It lurched forward, to the side, and down. With a whip like movement, it slowed, twisting in the air and shutting down. Tree crushed beneath its metal bottom. The people inside were swung around, no one was able to hold on. The pull brought everyone to the floor, and the final crash ended the dizzy whirlwind of fear and whiplash.

The ship buzzed, shook, huffed, and steamed. It let out a low groan as the door slipped from its hinges and fell open in a crash. The equipment was everywhere, the Lanteans strewn out along the floor. Ronan had fallen backward with the door and toppled out in a sort of summersault. Mckay was tangled in the net that once held water supplies, and now hung there, trying not to move in case he fell on top of Kryssa or Sheppard, who were curled up and tangled beneath him. Keller had slid under one of the benches and was now slowly climbing out, a gash in her forehead where it hit the wall. The two scientists Mahogany and what's his face were spread out over the Jumper consol in front of them, lucky enough to have had their seat belts on.

Ronan grunted, raising his head and looking at the scene. He couldn't help but let out a barely audible laugh as he climbed to his feat, "Everyone alright?"

"How could anyone possible be alright?" Mckay asked, as he hung there, trying not to move. Out of pain, out of discomfort, out of the need to not fall on his team-mates, and out of the sheer embarrassment of his situation.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**TBC: **_ Short Dx_

_That was fun to write! I hope it was fun to read... Let me know! Or no more stories will be typed by THESE FINGERS. _

_Does Anybody hear that? Oh right, its the sound of my heart beating with anticipation on your reviews, I need them... I NEED THEM TO FEEL LOVE. If I don't feel love, I will feel hate... and with hate, comes PAUL, my evil alter ego. _

_Bad things will happen, very bad Paul like things! _


	4. The Situation

_Hey, you know what I was thinking? What would be a great idea!_

REVIEWING! Huzzah. I see you adding my stories, don't think I don't expect a little something in return for my work -waggles finger-

_Sorry it has taken so long for me to post again.. BUT sadly, I wasn't getting reviews, and Paul is harder to hold back than you'd think! _

**CHAPTER FOUR: The Situation**

Mckay teetered for a moment, swaying back and forth. His fingers wrapped tightly through the small square holes of the net. He was bent at an odd angle and found it incredibly uncomfortable. His bright blue eyes watched as Keller slid out from under the bench, and as Mahogany and friend undid their belts, scurrying forward to see if she was okay. Ronan entered the ship and bent down next to the tangle of body parts that was the Colonel and Kryssa. Sheppard had expressed a little moan, and was waking up.

"What?" he mumbled, everyone turned to him. Everyone who could that is.

Sheppard rolled to the side, his head hurt. With a little help from Keller and Ronan, he was standing. It took a moment at first, he didn't have much feeling in his legs. They kept buckling under him when he tried to stand on his own. "What happened?" He remembered being unable to breath, he remembered a body beneath him, someone he was trying to save. And then Ronan?

"When Mckay entered without you, I went back to look, found you collapsing in the corridor with Kryssa." The large man pointed down at the blonde girl, who was still curled up where they left her. She'd look slightly peaceful, if her arm hadn't been twisted behind her back.

"Well I kinda figured that one out on my own! I mean... what happened?" Sheppard suddenly felt rather confident in his footsteps, and he walked forward, out of the Jumper and into the dense bush around them. "Where are we?"

"Oh," the scruffy little scientist raised his hand, "While I was trying to get us away from the Ancient ship, it opened fire on us, we barely made it out alive, I had to land somewhere." With a quick movement he indicated their current surroundings.

"Excuse me?" Mckay butted into the conversation, "I could just hang around here all day, or someone could help me down so I can once again get us out of a dire situation, saving all of our lives and getting nothing in return!" The man wiggled a bit, shifting the net, some of the things that were buried beneath him slipped out of their place and fell. Landing on top of Kryssa, who was still fast asleep.

Ronan and the taller of the two scientists moved forward to assist. While Keller bent down along with John, Grabbing Kryssa by the hip and dragging her unconscious body out from under the Physicist.

Keller checked her life signs again, they were still oddly erratic, but she appeared to be breathing normally now. It didn't take long for her to position the girl in a more comfortable position outside the jumper. Her kit nearby in case of any emergencies.

"Need some help doc?"

Keller looked up, smiling at Sheppard before flipping open her case, "No, There isn't much I can do for her, just wait..."

"No I mean with that," Sheppard indicated to her forehead, "Nasty bump!" He bent down, riffling through her supplies and finding a bandage and disinfectant.

Keller raised her hand, wincing when her finger met with the damaged flesh. "Ouch, right.." she blushed, taking the disinfectant and dipping it over a large cotton ball. "Thats alright John, I can handle this..." her eyes darted from the Jumper to the Colonel, "Go help the others!"

With a nod Sheppard stood, stepping out of the doctors way and heading toward the Puddle Jumper. Making it there in time to see Rodney falling as he ripped his boot from the net, having caught it on the way down. The Canadian toppled backward and landed on the floor. One of his minions assisted him in standing, and with a pat on the back and that usual Mckay smile he thanked him, "Thanks ...Mahogany."

The scientist looked at him his brow furrowing, "Mahogany? Its Rosewood sir... Lee Rosewood"

Rodney gave him an odd glance, staring a moment, his eyes loosing any trace of thought, "Are you sure... I definitely thought," he pointed at the taller scientist, "Your Mahogany?"

"No its James, Kevin James? I've worked with you for about a year now and-"

"Yeah, yeah..." Rodney waved his hand, "Same story everyone gives me, doesn't mean I'm going to remember your names!" With that he turned to face John, "Sheppard, Everyone alright?"

Sheppard suppressed a laugh, knowing he probably shouldn't egg the man on, "Everyone's... fine, Besides a doctor with a bump on the head and an Alien in a comma... It's all good."

"Oh," Mckay nodded, "Peachy!" Then with a clap of his hand he whirled around, looking at the ship, "I guess I should um..."

"That'd be nice,"

"Alright..." With a deep breath Rodney moved into the front compartment of the Jumper, and went to work on figuring out all the juicy details. Like whether or not the Jumper would fly again, how far away from the gate were they? If there even is a gate? Are there any life forms? Civilization? How far in the forest were they? In a matter of moments, Mckay would have all the answers...

**BEEP BEEAAUUPppblbllblb PFFFT**

Or not.

"Mckay... What was that?" Smoke began to float over their heads, making its way from the front compartment outside.

"Um..."

"Rodney... It sounded like-" There were random sparks as Mckay exited the front compartment, closing the door behind him.

"The Jumper just died completely? Yeah," The flustered voice of the head scientist was enough to tell the Colonel that they weren't going to get anything out of the ship.

"Is there any way you could fix it? Send a message out?"

"If I had the right tools, but we don't... so no, I can't even get a message out!"

"You can't get sensors up or anything?"

"What part of...'Completely Died' aren't you getting? I don't have the right tools, If I did... I could fix maybe... some of the systems, and it would have taken me hours, we don't have enough supplies to just sit around waiting either way." Then, Mckay snapped his fingers together, three times, pointing at the mess on the floor with a grin, "But we do have," He began riffling through the things on the floor, "Ah... A PDA," he raised the small device proudly. "This should be of use, now we can at least see what's around us!"

Sheppard nodded, "Right... So we have to move?" he turned to face Ronan, Rosewood, and James, "Search around and find as many weapons as you can, we'll head out and find the gate!"

Ronan, Rosewood and James all nodded simultaneously before following orders and searching the ship. Mckay, fiddled with the PDA a moment before shaking his head and moving around John to exit the Jumper. He wandered a few feet into the forest, not far from where Keller sat, trying to find readings.

"Find Anything?" Keller looked up at him.

"Hmmm." The Canadian mumbled, not taking his eyes off the tiny screen.

"What are you looking at?" She added calmly.

"What?," Mckay turned his head and saw the Doctor, "Oh.." Mckay hadn't noticed her there, "I found something strange," he turned, moving the PDA out in front of him as he walked around Kryssa and Keller. He did this a few times before nodding, "It's some kind of energy signature... A strong one, might be ancient!"

"Another energy signature?" Sheppard asked walking up to the two doctors, holding a P-90 they had found. There was also two Nine millimetre's, given to Rosewood and James, and Ronan had his own gun with him. Leaving Keller and Mckay weapon less. And Kryssa... if you counted her.

"What do you mean another?"

"Well there's always an energy signature... In fact," he pointed down to the unconscious blonde, "Thats how we found our little friend here."

"Yes... but the signatures are different, I made sure of it. This is an ancient device... its not moving, and its in what looks like some sort of abandoned settlement, or ruins." He nodded, "Its hard to tell without investigating!"

"Mckay, we want to find the Stargate, not Ancient ruins,"

"Well these ruins might explain why there was a ship in the area, or Maybe its indicating the position of the Stargate! We have no idea where it is... This is our best chance,"

"I agree with Mckay," Keller noted, as she stood up. Brushing her hands down her legs to remove random twigs and leaves that clung to the fabric of her pants.

Sheppard looked from Doctor to Doctor, his expression uneasy. It was the best they had, but something felt wrong about traveling into the woods, searching for an energy signature. The same routine had gotten them into trouble before.

"Its a place to start," Keller added, noting the look on Johns face. She turned to Ronan, Rosewood and James, looking for a little support. Rosewood shook his head rapidly up and down mumbling quick yes's every now and then. James stared at Keller for a moment with a dreamy look before giving a half smile and an awkward nod.

Ronan grunted, shrugging and spinning his gun in his hand. "I just don't want to stand around any longer than we have to!"

Sheppard's eyes sank to the ground, he bit his lower lip lightly before nodding himself, "Alright, okay... we'll go. But first sign of trouble and I want you all heading back to the Jumper. No ifs ands or buts!"

Keller, Rosewood, James, and Mckay nodded. All playing with the gear they gathered for a moment, getting ready to leave. Rosewood disappeared into the Jumper and came back out, a backpack swung over his shoulder, filled with as many bars of food, water containers, tools, and ammunition packs he could find. He handed another heavy bag to James, and set a third bag on the ground. For anyone to take.

Mckay ignored the bag on the ground, not wanting to take it himself and figuring if he looked busy he wouldn't be forced to.

Keller was packing her safety kit up again, not willing to leave it behind.

Sheppard and Ronan had also ignored the bag Rosewood dropped, and instead, were staring down at the unconscious Alien before them. Lying there peacefully. "How are we going to deal with her?" Ronan asked finally. Breaking the silence.

Mckay stopped fiddling with his toy and turned to see what the Satedan was talking about. His eyebrows furrowed when they caught the blonde. "Crap..." he walked forward, shoving the PDA into a pocket and looking down on Kryss as if she were a deer he had just hit with his car, one he didn't want to deal with.

"What if we just leave her here?"

"We can't leave her here Mckay, we don't know anything about this place!"

"Sure we can... just wrap her up and lay her down inside the Jumper, No one will see her... We can come back with help later."

Sheppard glared at his team-mate, "Mckay... Listen to yourself, we can't leave her here, There's no food or water, and what if she wakes up? And we aren't back yet."

Ronan spun his gun in his hand again, "And if there is a civilized town around here... they were bound to see the Jumper crash, she'd be unprotected and alone."

Rodney opened his mouth to give another reason, but sadly he couldn't think of anything. And was now getting dirty looks from Keller and Rosewood. James, was currently fumbling with his backpack, and hadn't been paying attention.

"Fine.." Mckay waved his hand passively, "But I'm not carrying her..." and with that he turned away. Beginning to walk through the forest. PDA out and stuck inches in front of his face.

Sheppard bit his tongue, trying to control himself, he didn't need to carry around an unconscious Mckay as well. He looked to Ronan, who rolled his eyes, almost as if he knew what John was going to ask next. And before a word escaped the Colonels mouth, The large man bent down, drawing Kryssa's body over his shoulder, and walking after the Canadian.

Keller shook her head, pursing her lips and following in suit. James close behind her.

Sheppard sighed, grabbing the bag Rosewood dropped and lifting it over his shoulder. And with that, him and the scientist brought up the rear.

--

"How much farther is it?" Ronan huffed, his legs kicking out sluggishly as he moved.

"Do you want some relief? We can trade?" Sheppard asked, raising the bag on his shoulder in an offer.

Ronan looked at him a moment, wanting to say no. He was a stubborn man, but did need a rest. "Sure..."

"Hey.." Sheppard called. Keller, James and Mckay all turned around. "We are going to take a break here, Five minutes!"

Keller, almost instantly, collapsed against the nearest tree, "Oh thank god."

James took a seat nearby, letting the bag support his back as he lay there, not moving. Every bone in his body was aching.

Ronan, slowly lowered himself, bending over and standing Kryss up, he pulled her small body off of his shoulder and laid her down with Rosewoods help.

Mckay turned in protest, "Oh come on... we're almost there!"

"How far away is it Mckay?" Sheppard asked, his eye's meeting the blue in Rodney's

"Well.." Mckay looked away. "I can't be sure."

"You have no idea do you?"

"Hey, all I know is Little Dot Good! PDA... not that accurate,"

Sheppard once again bit back the urge to smack the Physicist upside the head, and instead took off the bag he was carrying and set it under Kryssa's head. Taking a seat next to the unconscious form and glaring up at the scientist. "We are taking a break Rodney, relax."

Rodney grumbled in protest, but the look Ronan gave him was enough to shut the man up for a few hours.

--

"What if-"

"No..."

"But I could just-"

"No..."

"You don't even know what I was about to say and-"

"No,"

"It would only take-"

"NO Rodney! We are sticking together, I have a bad enough feeling about us heading to this..." he waved his hand dismissively, not sure what to call it, "place."

Mckay's lips tightened, his arms crossing, one over the other. He looked away childishly and stopped speaking, his chin jutting forward in that usual Meredith huff. "How long are we going to sit here anyway?"

"As long as it takes Mckay... People need some rest, and so do you!" Sheppard glanced at Ronan, who was smirking at the two of them. Rosewood was picking at grass, James had fallen asleep, and Keller was now next to John, checking Kryssa's vitals. For the third time since they'd stopped. "What are you looking for? I thought you said her vitals were erratic, and you couldn't understand them without the proper tools?"

"She should be awake by now. I don't understand it..." Keller pulled her hand away from the aliens neck. Her lips held tightly together as she stared down at the limp figure. "It was only half a minute without oxygen..."

"Well she had been slung over Ronan's shoulder for an hour or so..."

Keller's head shifted to the side, "You do have a point, maybe we should make a gurney of some kind instead?"

"Oh come on!" Rodney stood, his arms dropping, "We can just cover her in random leaves, and leave her hear... We'll come right back!"

"Mckay what's gotten into you? We never leave a man..." Sheppard paused to look down at Kryss, "Women... behind!"

Mckay huffed again, apparently the idea of an Ancient device or village was overpowering the want for his teams safety. For a second he stood there, not saying anything as he looked down at the ridiculing eyes of his friends and co-workers. "Your right.." It was a mumble, but it was still there to be heard.

Sheppard grinned, nodding to Keller. "We can start looking for strong enough branches."

"GHHHHHHAAAAAA," It was sudden, and unexpected. Kryssa's body lurched forward, her arms propping herself up behind her as she flailed through the air, her body searching for oxygen. She took a deep breath, then another. Her blue eyes looking frantically for something... anything.

--

Her vision was blurred, at first. She couldn't see anything, just blobs of light, shifting lower to meet her eye level. "Kryssa?"

A voice nearby caused a sudden reaction. Kryss leapt backward as much as she could. Hitting her head against the legs of another figure. She rubbed her eyes, harshly, trying to bring sight back into them. And slowly, but surely it worked. She could see four people, one standing not far off, and three kneeling down next to her. "Kryss are you alright?"

"Dr. Keller?" Kryssa squinted at the face nearest her. She could make out the longer, blonder hair and grinned.

"Your alright!" Kryssa's head turned, eyes widening, "I'm alright!" She patted her stomach, what little she could see of it. "What happened?"

"You passed out..." It was Sheppard's voice she recognised now. And once again, Kryss squinted through the blurred vision, and could almost make out the Colonels boyish smile, "I saved you..."

There was a cough, Ronan stepped forward, and the grin on Sheppard's face dropped, "Ronan helped!"

"Ronan dragged you from the ship after you passed out from Oxygen deprivation, and Rosewood helped John to the Jumper."

"And Mckay?" Kryssa's tone grew worrisome for a moment.

"Don't worry I'm fine,"

But the mans smug voice changed her tone rather quickly, and in a spiteful sort of way Kryss rolled her eyes, "I wasn't worried."

"Oh you definitely sounded worried to me!" Rodney added, not about to drop the subject.

"That wasn't worry in my voice is was hope!"

Kryss grinned, almost feeling the smile on Mckay's face fall, and in triumph, decided to stand. Her fingers digging into the tree behind her, Kryssa lifted herself. Her arms were rather weak and her legs wobbled beneath her. Someone was helping to hold her up, but she couldn't tell who.

"So... Um, I can't see..."

Keller looked at her oddly, "Well that's odd, sight shouldn't be affected by your ability to breath,"

"Well I couldn't see at one point!" Sheppard noted. Wincing slightly as he remembered the events.

"Yes but that was during the events, your body was stressed. Its been over an hour since it happened, and Kryssa has been both unconscious and can't see... Its really odd, I don't understand her physical make up. Perhaps its just her body... the mechanisms in her skull might have something to do with the-"

"Yeah, yeah we all know. She's part machine, she's odd... her vitals confuse you, yada yada... the only thing we can do is get her back to Atlantis, which means... we should start moving again!"

Sheppard bit his lip, not wanting to say it but he knew Mckay was right. "Alright... lets move out!"

--

**TBC: **_Alright, Another chapter done, and the team is ready to head out. Paul is safely held in the back of my mind. Stored where no one can reach him! YES PAUL.. YOU ARE TRAPPED. _

_Now... on to my next mission, I must find a cantelope. A nice sturdy thick cantaloupe. It is the only thing that can suppress my need to kill... I mean, Pauls need to kill! _

_QUICK the more reviews I get, the more cantaloupe I will find... and the more cantaloupe I have, The less chance I will kill off one of your beloved characters! _

_And what is this Watermelon? It is interfering with my search! I mustn't have any distractions. _


	5. Little Dot Good?

_We have arrived at Number five. _

_If you think that statement rhymed, then you are seriously crazy, and should go now. For I already have enough crazy to deal with. Paul is one thing, but Ritta... is another._

**CHAPTER FIVE: Little Dot Good?**

"Ouch," There was a rustling in the bushes nearby. Kryss had tripped over another tree root and had fallen over. Still hardly able to see.

"It was easier when I carried her over my shoulder..." Ronan mumbled, bending down again to yank Kryss into a standing position, almost dislocating her shoulder as he did so.

"Ow, ow, ow... Not so rough!"

Ronan shook his head, and they began walking again. After the fifth time, Mckay and the rest of them stopped looking back to see if she was okay.

"How much farther is this place anyway?" Kryssa mumbled, struggling through a fern like plant. She smacked the leaves away before continuing on. Doing an odd little turn as she preformed the scene, and almost loosing her balance in the process.

"It shouldn't be far now, we have been walking for a while!" Mckay replied.

"How long Rodney?"

"What? Weren't you listening to me before, I can't be exactly sure how long, or how far away we are-"

"Just give me a number Mckay, Ball park it!"

"What is it with you and the numbers-" Mckay mumbled, no longer looking at the PDA,

"Mckay... I need something to work with and-"

"It would only be an estimate, it wouldn't be worth anything!"

"Mckay!"

"Fine Five... Five minutes,"

"Five minutes?"

"What is the number too round for you?... Five minutes... and twenty-one seconds?"

Sheppard grinned, noting Mckay's irritation and finding it rather amusing. A snicker from everyone else indicated that they were also getting a kick out of the Physicist's quips. The Canadian rolled his eyes, he shook his head once and turned around. Rodney pushed a handful of leaves out of his way in a rush of annoyance, and stopped.

Keller, almost bumping into him got rather annoyed, "Mckay?"

Rodney turned to face them, a grin on his face so wide his eyes twinkled, "We're here!"

Sheppard cocked his eyebrow, "So much for five minutes!"

Mckay's smile dropped instantly, "That was a random number," and with that he turned, pushing past the leaves and exiting on the other side.

The sight was beautiful, large golden brown ruins, stacks of brick. Ancient markings and vines covering the scene. The rocks were still in good shape, even though they looked old. The place hadn't been touched in years. Rodney walked forward, eager to be the first to enter. He stepped through a small archway that opened into a long hall, the darkness made it seem never ending. But it appeared to be the only way through.

The scientist stepped out, "Do we have any flashlights or anything?"

Rosewood nodded, hurrying to get the bag off of his back. The man yanked out two small flashlights and four glow sticks, handing them to Mckay and Sheppard. The two looked down at the lights as if they were mere toys. Rosewood simply shrugged, "It was all I could find!"

"Well.." Sheppard nodded, "Better than nothing." he looked up from the lights, and into the faces of his team. Thinking quickly he pointed toward Kryssa... Who was squinting to see the ruins, instead of paying attention. "Kryss, you're up front with me and Mckay... Keller follows after, then Rosewood and James, and Ronan can bring up the rear!" He handed out the assorted glow sticks and turned to follow Mckay through the arch. Stepping cautiously as he did so. As not to trigger any Ancient defence system.

--

"How many times do I have to tell you, you aren't going to trip over anything..." Rodney's voice could be heard echoing down the dark hall. An aura of light was cast around them from the dim glow of the flashlights and sticks.

"Yeah.. you have light Mckay, I can't see a thing!"

"Well you're holding my arm to tight, loosen the grip a little... Ow!" Rodney turned to glare at that Alien clutching his arm. She had dug her finger nails into his skin, obviously on purpose. "Oh real mature!" The Canadian huffed, rolling his eyes and moving faster. Almost as if he did so, he would loose the leech clinging to him.

"Well if you held my hand like a normal person... There wouldn't be much tugging and clutching would there?"

"I need my hands,"

"What to hold your precious flashlight?"

"I'm working on finding the way out of here!"

"Its a hall... there are no doors.. Only walls. The only thing you can do is move forward!"

"I'm using the PDA..."

"For what.. you can probably barely see it!"

"Yeah, says you oh blind one! I can see it just fine thank you!" Rodney squinted at the small machine, trying to read it but finding it incredibly difficult. Not that a certain blonde needed to know.

"Would you two just stop it, We have been walking for ten minutes and all we've had to listen to is your stupidAHHHhh."

There was a muffle of screams, everyone's voiced cut over everyone else's. The sound echoed down the hall and up the long and narrow slide they had currently found. The tunnel seemed endless as they fell... The smooth slant and walls made it hard for anyone to latch their hands on something sturdy to stop from falling.

It was almost definite that the landing was going to hurt. But to the groups surprise, they came out unharmed. Sliding across what seemed to be an old bunker. And knocking into one another on the other end. Slamming Mckay up against the wall. Kryssa afterwards, Followed by John, Keller, Rosewood, James, and the crushing body of Ronan. There was a muffled moan of pain as the group lay there... not moving for the longest time until finally Mckay yanked himself out from in between the wall and the pile up.

As soon as these new life forms entered, the lights fluttered on. Indicating that the room was indeed of Ancient design.

"I think I found the source of the energy signature!" Rodney mumbled, his nose sticking to the PDA screen as he walked around the room, testing random areas, and checking readings.

All the while John was helping the others up off of the stone flooring. Nobody seemed exactly 'thrilled' to have found the energy signature. "Mckay, I think I speak for everyone when I say, we were hoping for something a bit more... Useful." John mumbled as he lifted Keller up, and steadied her.

Her and Kryssa both looked at one another, and nodded. Or at least, Kryss thought she was looking at Keller, the girl couldn't quite tell.

"What? This is what we were looking for... The energy signature!" Mckay whipped around to glare at them.

"This room?" Ronan looked around, "Doesn't exactly seem..."

"Useful!" The Colonel added again, trying to stress his point.

"We haven't even looked around yet, You can't deem a room _Not useful _until you've at least checked it out!" Rodney once again raised the PDA, his eyes scanning the screen intently. Determined to find something anything remotely... useful.

Meanwhile, John twisted in a circle. The others followed in his steps, it took about half a minute for him to nod his head and once again address Mckay. "Well... I've looked around. And I still see nothing!"

Sheppard was right. There was nothing in the room, but the door they came in through... In fact it was a rather cramped space, and John had already experienced being trapped in a small space with scientists and doctors. The man definitely didn't want the situation repeated

After a moment he began circling the area. Ronan had moved toward the entrance to see if there was any way he could climb back up. Rosewood stood in the corner, rubbing his hands together, and James stuck with Keller... Who was currently shining a flashlight into either of Kryssa's eyes.

"Ow.." Kryss pulled back, blinking a few times and smacking away the flashlight.

"You have to let me check your pupil response. If you don't-"

"If I don't something seriously awful might happen, yeah yeah..." Kryss waved the doctor away.

Keller looked at her sternly, forgetting she couldn't see, "Kryss, if you don't let me do this. I will get someone to hold you down!"

Kryss turned to her quickly, a look of shock spreading evenly across her face. She didn't think the doctor was capable of such an idea. Although she knew that no one was really what they seemed. Rolling her eyes she walked back into the doctors arms. "You know I can see a bit better now. I think my eyes just needed time in the dar-OW" Kryss pulled back again as Keller shined the light in her eyes.

"Ugh... do you have to be so difficult?"

"Yes.." Kryss whined over her hands, as she rubbed the burning sensation out of her eyes. "If you plan on burning my retina's and prodding me all day, then I'll be just as stubborn as I choose!" With that, the blonde moved away, still rubbing her face. The girls nose scrunched up and released itself repeatedly as she tried to force the pain away.

"Watch where you are going!" Mckay spat, as Kryssa bumped into the Physicist. "Oh... right," The man rolled his eyes. "You _can't_ see."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kryss squinted at the blur in front of her, "You think I'm a liar?"

"Well.. if the metaphorical shoe fits..."

"Hey.." Kryssa raised her finger, pointing harshly at what she hoped was the Canadian's head, before a hand pushed it down.

"Enough... what is wrong with you two? I thought you were getting along?" Sheppard rolled his eyes, stepping between the Alien and the Scientist. "There will be no more fighting, out of either of you... Or I'll have Ronan shoot you into unconscious bliss!"

Rodney's chin jutted forward, and he folded his arms again. The PDA squished between his arm and his chest, "She started it..."

"WHAT?" Kryssa growled. lurching forward, ready to attack the scientist. But stopped herself as the room began to rumble. One of the walls was suddenly sliding up and into the ceiling. An archway leading to a completely different room. One with large objects strewn out across tables and counter tops. Silk drapes reaching from the roof to the floor, and lights that lit up not only this room but the previous one as well.

Everyone froze. Kryssa in mid strangling motion, John's hands raised to stop her. Mckay cowering backward, Ronan leaning against a wall, Rosewood, Keller and James all shaking their heads. It was a shock... although, things like this seemed to be happening allot lately.

"Who touched what?" Rodney asked, walking to the side as quickly as possible. Making it seem as though it was out of pure curiosity, but really, he wanted out of Kryssa's reach.

"None of us touched anything Mckay..." Keller mumbled, walking forward slowly.

Mckay's eyes swerved from face to face, before shaking his head, "Someone has to have touched something... anything! And I know it-"

"Mckay.." Ronan growled, "It just opened okay!" The large man brushed past the smaller one, glaring as he usually did, before entering the new room. Gun at the ready.

Mckay opened and closed his mouth a few times, like a fish out of water before raising his hand and entering the room himself. "Don't touch anything!" No matter what, the man was always able to find something to complain about. "We don't know what any of this stuff is!"

**BEEP**

"I SAID DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!" Rodney snapped his head around, looking for the source of the sound and found Ronan. His hands up as though he had just been caught stealing.

"I just leaned on it!" The Satedan mumbled.

Mckay moved forward briskly, "I said don't touch anything, that includes leaning against the foreign objects!"

At the statement, John pushed himself off of the counter top nearby. He had settled down on it, but wasn't comfortable enough to allow himself to be the Physicists next target.

Ronan growled, stepping forward and towering over the Canadian, Mckay backed down, "Right then, common mistake" and moved around him quickly. He began eyeing the device, careful not to touch anything.

"What is it?" Kryss asked, peeking her head over his shoulder, and squinting down at the large console like object.

Rodney grimaced "How could I possibly know that?"

Kryssa smirked, cocking one of her eyebrows, "You are Atlantis's foremost expert on ancient technology?" Her smug smile was enough to get Mckay started again. But the man was distracted by another beeping sound, "What.." he leaned back, smacking his hands to his thighs and shaking his head, "Can nobody hear me anymore? I said NO TOUCHING! Is it that hard to-" His fingers pinched the brim of his nose, before looking up to see Keller backing away from the machine.

"Sorry..." She mumbled, biting her lip.

"Calm down Rodney..." Sheppard moved forward, setting his hand down on it. The machine **Beeped** in reply. And with a grin, John patted it, "Its just a toy... What harm can beeping do?"

"Allot of harm!" Mckay rolled his eyes, "We have no idea what this machine can do...NO-" Mckay motioned for Kryssa not to touch it, but dropped his hands in irritation when he heard the familiar beeping sound.

"I needed a better look!" her expression was apology enough. "The machine was farther away than I could make out!" There was a pause, as the blonde girl glanced around at the irritated faces.

"Mckay you should calm down, before you have a heart attack!" grinning weakly Kryssa continued, despite them fighting all the time, she was still concerned...

"Oh and what do you know... You're apparently as blind as a bat!"

Mildly concerned...

The pale faced alien narrowed her eyes, glaring forward at the scientist who stopped his yelling to take a breath. She put her hands down on the machine again, holding it tightly around one of the five sides. The machine was large, and shaped like a hexagon. The top lay flat and each side that had been touched was now glowing red. "See Mckay... its not beeping anymore!"

Mckay looked at it oddly a moment, then dropped his glare, leaning closer, "Your right!" He mumbled, trying to get a better look of all sides of the machine.

Although he found it rather difficult with Sheppard still patting the large objects side, Ronan leaning on his, and Keller coming in for a better look herself.

"Even if its stopped beeping, we should be careful. The machine could do anything. Perhaps a certain number of beeps and..." The doctor waved her hands in front of herself as if determining her options, "blow up!"

Rodney gave Keller an incredulous look, "I'm sure the ancients wouldn't have left that sort of machine here, with all there other equipment. It would be far to dangerous!" His eyes drew back to the machine. "But still... We should probably stop touching it, just to be sure!" Glancing at his team mates, who all had their hands against it one way or another. "That means you," He flicked his arm forward, indicated them as they stood there. Obviously not getting the hint.

And not meaning to, Rodney's fingers managed to brush against the side of the machine. And in a whirl of blinding light, the team froze. Each of them standing there, looking around bewildered in their spots for half a second before Mckay, Sheppard, Ronan, Keller and Kryssa all managed to collapse onto the floor. Unconscious. Leaving Rosewood and James to rush to their aid, confused and frightened.

_--_

_**TBC:**_

_Who's Ritta? She is my Mexican lover... she sleeps in my basement and uses my quilts. The women is unfaithful, and has been seeing someone behind my back. This makes me yearn for the comfort of my cantaloupe... _

_Excuse me a moment whilst I draw a face on the round fruit._


End file.
